When tomorrows hold no greater promise than today. Help me amongst the tears, amongst the fears, to find the joy to be- still here! Take me from under this darkness and restore the hope that once shed light. For when the dawn breaks, You'll bring beauty from the pain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDnwJaO-0Xc
Life is full of ????????? And everyday I wake up overjoyed at where I am right now in life. But as the day unravels I find myself tensing over the unknown chapters that lie ahead. I read about all those dear to me moving forward in life...getting engaged, having babies, buying houses...and I start to wonder, when will it be my turn? It's hard to balance the required with the biological need. My mind tells me that logically I should finish school and postpone marriage and raising a family until my situation is more secure. Am I the only girl who finds this difficult?
Everyday I interact with twenty-three little people who view me as their hero, and all I want to do is hug them and assure them that their presence in my classroom is so important to me. I want to plant joy in their hearts and let them know that they are brilliant! I want to say the things that, sadly, are never said in their home. I want to remove all doubt that they might not be someone special! But maybe all this exposure is just heightening my hormones and making me wish I had my own children. Funny thing is, I am their hero in the classroom, but when I get home I am just like them.
I need someone to hug me and tell me that I am special! Someone to remind me that the way is paved and my purpose is planned. Sometimes I forget that I have a Heavenly Father who is there to do all those things for me if only I would take a moment to listen and feel his presence. I get so caught up in the worry. I see only what is right in front of me and right now that isn't much.
Oh friend. I hear you.
ReplyDeleteSuch true words Devon. This is an overflow of your heart and that is good. It is good to know that you are full enough to let it flow. It is hard to know the plan that God has. It is also hard to think that if He does have a plan, how in the world do you know what it is. However, these feelings are a good reminder that the Holy Spirit is at work in your life. He wants you to know that God does have a plan, purpose, and that tomorrow isn't empty. That is why we get those longing feelings for God to speak. He sends them to us to remind us that He also longs to be with us.
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